WISH UPON A STAR

Every parents felt that they have one ultimate responsibility for their child that is to help and assist them in any way possible till they get their DEGREE. Great! Then they are on their way. NOT!!(Borat style) I remember reading an article about ‘quarter-life crisis’ back when I was still in college counting the days when I’ll be in my graduation robe and was wondering if I would ever have to encounter such experience.
Well my guess is I’m facing it right now.

Here’s what I got from Wikipedia:-
Characteristics of quarter-life crisis include:

• feeling "not good enough" because one can’t find a job that is at one’s academic/intellectual level
• frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career
• confusion of identity
• insecurity regarding the near future
• insecurity regarding present accomplishments
• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships
• disappointment with one’s job
• nostalgia for university or college life
• tendency to hold stronger opinions
• boredom with social interactions
• financially-rooted stress
• loneliness
• desire to have children
• a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you

These emotions and insecurities are not uncommon at this age, nor at any age in adult life. In the context of the quarter-life crisis,
however, they occur shortly after a young person – usually an educated
professional, in this context – enters the "real world". After entering
adult life and coming to terms with its responsibilities, some
individuals find themselves experiencing career stagnation and/or
extreme insecurity. This can be after securing a first job or straight
out of college/university. The individual often realizes the real world
is tougher, more competitive and less forgiving than they imagined.
Furthermore, the qualifications they have spent so much time and money
earning are not likely to prepare them for this disillusionment.

As it turns out the term ‘quarter life crisis’ was originated by 2 twentysomething young adults who, just like many other young adults facing the ‘real world’ and came to realise how naive they were when suddenly harsh reality hit them right in their face.

Some orthodox thinkers refuse to accept such a term as an extention from the much raved ‘mid-life crisis’ for they felt that it’s just another phase that all young adults need to go through and it’s a matter of figuring out what they want.

However one can’t deny the prevalence of this so-called ‘crisis’ especially in today’s society. Being a young adult in the 21st century is getting more and more challenging. From Who’s carrying the latest LV bag to who’s using the latest, slimmest, lightest and whatever ‘est’ there is gadget to who’s driving the latest whatever series car to who just came back from some exotic holiday getaway. Today’s measurement of success has become so superficial that If you don’t dress to impress you are a marked loser. It’s all about the look. Very typical coming from a Malaysian where it’s always ‘Isi takde takpa, janji rupa mau ada’.

Expectations, Choices, Demands, Needs, Necessity, Wants, Desire..all of these jumble up making everything in the ‘future’ look cloudy. So is it because we the new generation are just too arrogant and too full of ourselves that is causing this so-called ‘quarter-life crisis’ and that it’s all self-inflicted?

When I told my BF that I seem to be at a cross road or maybe many cross roads where I’m presented with so many options to choose from and I do get confused or maybe a tiny weeny lil bit of greediness involve,and he said ‘what nonsense!!’ At your age there shouldn’t be a cross road, you can afford to do whatever you want. It’s (in his words) CHEUNGing ALL THE WAY time. This is the time you should learn from experience, trial and error to discover ones real potential by pushing oneself to the limit. Speaking like a TRUE OLD MAN.

In a way it’s quite true, it’s better to have more choices than to be stuck with one or worst still NONE. So there’s no valid ‘crisis’ I would suppose. Yet what amount to a ‘crisis’ is still fairly subjective. Being a relatively newbie in the working force all i can say is a lot of patience is needed and always be humble and never arrogant. It’s always better to be an underdog than fall short of expectation. At times the world seem to be against you and the people that you love don’t seem to understand the hardship that you are going through, cry, shout, talk to some one, vent out your frustration but remember to keep your head up high and keep moving forward in hope that one day you could prove them all wrong.

OK i know after this I’m going to get an earful of my BF’s ‘I told you…’

Argghh…shut up you face or I’ll kill your face..

Life of a 23 year old. Just getting started? Still discovering? Confused? Scared? Undecided? Lost? Losing out in the REAL WORLD? Working too hard? Zero social life? Zero excitement? Fear for the future?
I can still remember ever so clearly on a gloomy day back in 1997, being grounded at home by my mum, sitting by the window after venting my frustration on my pillow, I told myself " how I wish I’m 10 years older now". No adults to tell me what i can and cannot do, buy whatever I want with my own money, hang out with my friends whenever I want, I bet I would be happier if I’m 23..
So how did it turn out to be? Well I’m exactly what I thought I would  be. Got my degree, have a job, independent and actually having CONVERSATIONS with my mum instead of the ‘Yes Mum No Mum’ kind of communication. So I must be really happy now huh…
Frankly I still can’t quite answer that yet…somehow life just got COMPLICATED as I grow older..It’s not as simple as ‘yes you can or no you cannot’ anymore..it’s now ‘you are responsible for the things that you do’..instead of your parents bossing over your life, now there are more than 10 people who’s running your life..you pretty much answer to everyone..Yeah I do spend my own hard earned money now but I forgot about the 4 letter word when i was 13..’BILL’..what’s worst it’s always in the plural as in BILLssssss…The hanging out with friends part? HAH now i finally understood why adults like to say ‘I’ve got no time!!’
and then suddenly you realize that the independence that you were fighting so hard for is not an evil plan by your parents who’s out to make your life miserable but rather the love they have for you to protect you from the possible harm that you may face if you have that very ‘independence’. Trust becomes the world most fragile thing. You become so cautious about the things you say for walls suddenly have ears. You become so paranoid about everything, afraid that someone’s out to get you for you are a threat to national security.
All you wanna do now is RUN!! Run away from all these madness. You have the urge to retrieve and return to that comfortable cocoon which only now you have learned to appreciate. But it’s against nature for a butterfly to return to it’s cocoon

Another life snatched away. Don’t one’s heart aches whenever this kind of death takes place. I wouldn’t call it unfortunate as it is in fact a deliberate act of a selfish being irregardless of other’s life. They are no more just another snatch thief, they are in fact murderers. How many more deaths for there to be before we take a stand to combat them with the equivalent force that they have inflicted upon their victims?

When this snatch thief trend emerges, many said that it’s hard to catch these lawbreakers due to their modus operandi let alone convict them. So can we say that they are actually really smart to have come up with such a genius way to rob people and yet get away with it? Maybe they should even provide tuition classes on how to be the new age robber.

Well if so maybe I should write a book titled ‘Effective Bag Snatching for Dummies’. In fact I’ll start by doing a check list:-

1. Get a motorcycle.

2. Change license number.

3. Get a side kick that would qualify to be a super bike racer because I can’t ride a bike at all, don’t even have a motorcycle license. Oh I may not need one as I’m already going to commit a crime.

4. Practice to find the right grip on a handbag that would enable easy snatching. Should not pick bags that are too small, as it is harder to target and grab. May not even get anything much out of it.

5. Some balancing training just in case the victim fights back.

6. Oh, how can I forget, helmets. You don’t want to be breaking the road rules would you? And make sure it covers the whole of your face.

All right all checked. So the last thing to do is to find the perfect victim.

Well in defense for their ‘productivity’ is at least they are doing something rather than just wasting petrol roaming the streets doing ‘wheelies’. Note also that the check list may defer from one snatch thief to another depending on their own creativity and intelligence. Or maybe I’m just not ’smart’ enough to be one to start off with.

Well the point that I’m trying to make is that it cannot be an excuse to say that it’s hard to catch these criminals. Something has to be done. Aren’t we tired of hearing one death after another, one head injury after another, one coma after another, it’s just getting too lame. Are we not smarter than these criminals? Are we just going to sit down and express our rage in papers? Are we to just keep praying that our loved ones are spared? Are we to stop carrying handbags all together or maybe carry ones that has the capability to snap off the clasps upon being yanked? Are all these solutions to the bigger problem?

Come on people of Malaysia, all 26.9 million of us. I’m sure not all of us fall into the snatch thief category or aspire to be one. There must be some way that we could counter this act.

Many have urged the arm forces to increase the number of police personnel patrolling around town. In which would consist mainly of police on motorcycle as that’s the best way to chase after the snatch thieves upon detecting them. I truly understand and believe that crime don’t usually happen whenever the law enforcers are around hence isn’t that what we want to achieve in the end of the day. So what if crime only occurs when the police are not around? Well if one keeps sticking to a fixed time table in patrolling then for sure the ’smart’ criminals would have figure out the pattern. Darn those smarty pants.

Now what? Impose a heavier penalty on those found guilty of committing the crime. Fear need to be instilled upon them to know that whatever harm that they inflict upon others will come with great consequences.

That’s all? I thought all of us have figured that out way before this. Well that’s the point, if we have already figured out all of that, then why are there still so many snatch thief cases? I wonder.

However I need to applaud the reporters and by standers who caught the snatch thief in Kota Bahru yesterday. The community indeed plays a huge role in the fight against snatch thieves as we are directly affected by these events and it can happen anytime, anywhere and to anyone. I bet many of you would not forget the incident where a heroic man was stab to death by a snatch thief when he attempted to hunt down the criminal. That very incident sent shivers down everyone’s spine and after that victims continue to fall prey to these cold blooded criminals and people fear for their own life when they held out a helping hand.

We have been cautioning ladies out there to be careful with their belongings and be more alert with their surroundings. Keep your handbag close to your body. Walk against the traffic. Don’t walk on quite roads. Beware of approaching motorcycles. Avoid wearing and carrying valuables. Don’t display your belongings for public viewing. These are the commandments that supposedly would decrease the chances of one from being a victim of snatch thief.

However as a judge once said ‘even the devil knowth not a human’s mind’ when there’s an intention to commit a crime one would seldom be spared no matter how careful one can be, as those acts are done upon great length of organization and contemplation before being carried out. And the reason why such crime is still on the rise is because they know they can literally get away with murder. They may not intend to injure but the mere intention to commit a crime is already enough harm inflicted to our very society.

Insurance Insurance..what i do without you. Bet most of you would have experience the coffee session with a long lost friend whom out of the blue contacted you and hoping to catch up with old times but end up talking bout your "what if ar" not so lucky future. So do we really need insurance? Well I’m lucky enough to put my insurances to the test. First I got into a pathetic car accident at a car park near my college. And my local made aluminum can SLK(small little kancil) pretty much came apart. But THANK GOD for INSURANCE so the BIG FAT BILL to fix the car is covered..PHEWWW…

So I thought yeah just a bad streak of luck and hope that’s the end of it…AHA think again…the next morning i was rudely awaken by this great pain in my whole abdomen. After a medical check-up and blood test and ultrasound and urine test, I’ve got appendicitis!! A quick call to my insurance company I admitted myself to the Gleneagles Medical Center..hey before all of you start yelling"YOU SPOIL BRAT!!" mind you i can’t afford to admit myself to such expensive medical centres if not for my insurance coverage OK…I’m very thankful that my parents decided to get me my life insurance. As I’m living away from my parents at least I won’t worry and trouble them so much.

Moral of the story? err..don’t get into an accident and get appendicitis at the same time? Nah I’m not asking you to rush to the nearest insurance agent and get yourself an insurance policy..but probably u might just want to check with your company for the medical coverage and maybe put aside some savings for EMERGENCY..cause as they say YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHEN IT’S GONNA HAPPEN..and i can tell you ACCIDENTS/EMERGENCIES like this cost LOTS of CA-CHINGS!!!

I wonder how many exams do an average Malaysian sits for all his/her life..

After UPSR,PMR,SPM,A-Level,Law Degree and other minor exams..I can assure you we are all EXAM’nified’…how many exams do we really need actually? Finally with graduation not too far away one would give you a pet on the shoulder and said you have done well…but NOOOO… instead I still have to immediately enroll for my CLP course…and sit for yet ANOTHER EXAM next year with some so called ‘SURPRISE’ tests along the way…sounds tiring…hah wait till u get to my stage…tired?What the F*** is that word…

So what the heck right..i’ve already spend a good 15 years of my life getting to where I am right now…what’s another year to get my license to practice right…yeah sure…"IF" i do "PASS" my CLP…i need to get a job as a Chambering student for pennies with loads of work and providing cheap labour for 9 months before i can officially be LABELLED as a LAWYER…WOW how great…isn’t that what all parents want..for their children to be DOCTORS,LAWYERS bla bla bla…I can’t deny the fact that children are their parent’s pride…but the bottom line still lies within yourself to honestly tell yourself whether this is really what u want….

"Find a job you love
and you will never work a day in your life!"
— Confucius

No doubt nothing in life is easy..it takes lots of sacrifice,hard work,patience and also some good help,love & support from the people around you..So i would like to take this opportunity to thank the people who have colored my life with joy and shared my pain along the way..Definitely first and foremost to both my parents and both my brothers for being who they are and their unconditional love.. The special people who have dedicated their lives into nurturing and spreading the joy of learning and imparting their knowledge and wisdoms..and to all my FWENS!!!!!Whether directly or indirectly you have contributed to my journey in life…positive or negatively i accept all…for those are the things that taught me about life and making me who I am today…my sincere thanks and gratefulness for your help,care,love and friendship…I’m just thankful that our life have crossed path…and my greatest wishes to all….Finally Thank God the Almighty for giving me this LIFE…I’m truly blessed in so many ways….Truly Truly Blessed…

In Loving Memory of a Great Friend who has always been there for me…May His Soul rest in Peace..and the lights of Heaven shine upon Him….

Resah ini…

Mengaburi bilakan kita bertemu lagi

Resah ini…

Menghancuri kasihku

Resah ini…

Menghantui jiwa meronta kasih

Andai ku rayu pada mu

pulanglah kekasihku…

Namun jurang antara kita

masih tidak terhingga…

Mengejar cita-cita dan impian berbeza

Mungkin daku yang bersalah

Maafkanlah dosa daku…

Andai ku janji padamu

tiada yang lain bagi ku

mungkin dakulah yang bersalah

Maafkanlah dosa daku

Namun disebalik segalanya yang berlaku aku tetap menyayangimu…

Maafkanlah diri ku ini…

9th of June 2005,

Greatest experience in my life…was really thankful that was given a chance to dive and swim amongst the sharks at Aquaria,KLCC… IT WAS AWESOME!!! I initially thought i have a phobia of swimming in deep water and meeting face to face with big fishes..SHARKS?Hell no…i’ll die….After a great struggle to get into the wet suit..and mistakenly wore it inside out the first time..just felt that maybe it’s not such a great idea to dive with sharks for a first time scuba diver only after watching a 10 minutes clip and another 5 minutes of briefing and signing your 4 page exclucion and acknowledgement of liability papers…my life is pretty much in the hands of the guy name Azly who is the scuba diver instructor there…

With such great drama before even touching the salty water…won’t be surprise if I suffocate in the water…With my ridiculously heavy oxygen tank strapped in place and some 10 kg weight added to me…I just took a deep breathe and went into the water…It was a struggle at first as the instructor seem to have problem getting me to sink into the water…too much air i guess…so i need to go up and let out some air before i can sink..muahaha…no lar just joking…he had to add a few more weight to me then alas I’m safely in the water…At first it was hard to get used to breathing in the water….but after a shile just got the hang of it…

Then pretty much I was in a whole new world…exploring every corner of the tank possible…to hell with whatever fear i had before…i was just having a ball of a time…i even got to pat one of the shark who is sound asleep in a corner…guess the most threatening looking shark would have to be the Nurse shark name CHERYL…pretty sweet name for a shark….haha…but when she first came near to me I was practically holding my breathe..well looking at a shark on TV and seeing one so near to your face is really interesting…was tempted to tpuch her..but maybe not…still wanna keep my fingers intact…besides that they even have 2 giant Grupper which was really cool to actually look at up close…some other schools of fishes and some ugly but cute fishes too…guess that’s about all…it was also fun to see the public’s reaction from within the tank…they are waving to us like we are some kind of animal in captivity…*yeah yeah..whatever u are thinking..no i’m not and don’t look like a fish in any way*…

All in all it was great….really gonna go scuba diving in the real ocean one day….it’s a real peaceful and surreal feeling…AWESOME..

Fuhhh….after being sick for 4 days…my body is starting to ache like hell…can’t take it anymore…as i have been missing classes for too many days not to mention the amount of notes that i need to copy from my fellow sidekick Ms.Pet….therefore i’m determine to get out of the house tomorrow…just hope that my head won’t explode when it’s exposed to the sun…probably i should go get a hat…hmmm..maybe…

Anyway…i just won a voucher from Channel [V] for a 3 days 2 nights stay at the Club Med, Bali…at first i was so so excited about it…but then later i found out i need to actually fork out RM420.70 for the return airticket….and that’s only for one person….further i haven’t call up the people to see it there’s any hidden charges in the whole package thingy…u know when they say something is for FREE…sometimes it may not be TOTALLY FREE….so it may be misleading..it’s better that i get it all check out before i even book the freaking air ticket….

I actually regretted not booking the flight to Bali when Air Asia was giving away free tickets…that time they are only charging the airport tax…in which return ticket would only come up to not more than RM200….shit lar…..stupid me….or not i’ll be on holiday in Bali for sure…..so now i’m pretty much still thinking whether to go or not to go…i’ve always wanted to go to Bali thought….i just love the beach….

HAh…i know u guys must be wondering who i’m taking right….obviously my dream guy Dr.House…but since he’s too busy healing people and he may not be too inetersted to go to the beach or do any outdoor activities carrying his cane around…so i would want to take my Baby Boy….but he’s also not quite available…coz the cost of bringing him back here would have render the FREE gift purposeless….as i’ll be dead broke by then….yeah so basicly i haven’t got a travel partner yet….so whoever is able to get hold of cheap air ticket to Bali and want to enjoy the free stay….feel free to drop me your proposal and i shall consider it….muahahaha

But all this considerations of whether i should go or not was made worst after watching on the Discovery Channel…the Bali bombing….so how’s that for anti-climax…

6 days into 2006…so any of  guys felt any different? Personally, i don’t feel any different from any other year that passes. New year is just a HOLIDAY for me…where i get to relax and spend time with freinds and family..have little outings, go for shopping and do some catching up with friends that i haven’t met over the year. It’s funny that everyone tend to have this thing call New Year Resolution..all trying to be a better person when the New Year comes.. What? u can’t be a better person on normal days..and all we do is we keep breaking this resolutions by the 2nd day of New Year…so why even bother..so as the famous saying goes.." I resolve not to resolve-my resolution is not to make any resolution"..pathetic? Well when u break ur list of resolutions, then u come and talk to me ok…then we’ll compare who’s more pathetic..

I just doesn’t take a New Year to make changes..every day is a New day..no 2 days will be the same…nature forbids me from growing any younger… So just like the law of gravity, where there’s only a one way ticket, my age also keeps adding up…hoping that i get wiser each day, gain more knowledge, learn more things and try not to do on to other’s what i won’t do unto myself…

Hah, must have got u guys there. Yeah I’ve got a new love…He has an attitude problem..basically don’t give 2 shits about what people thinks of him and don’t even wanna know how u feel about his sarcasm or brutally insensitive commends..He acts different from the normal  beings and seem to always live a world of his own..he love watching soap drama(just like The Bold & Beautiful) and constantly popping white pills after each stressful encounters which makes him a bit of a drug addict..Oh and did for forgot to mention…he walks around with a cane…so it’s hard to miss him…yeah he’s ‘kinda’ old…but i won’t call him old…i would say ‘mature’…which adds character won’t u say…So u wondering who’s this new love that I’m so infectious about these days?

Haha…won’t tell u just yet..besides all this negativity..he is incredibly smart and his approaches to solving problem may not seem conventional but VERY VERY effective…he loves torturing people around him and not give them the thrill of having a pleasant day whenever they are around him…He’s so articulated that when he talks or says something to u, u just don’t know what to say back…it’ll just hit u like ice cold water hitting ur face on a chilly morning..but at times he would still show his soft side and compassion in his very own small and hidden way..he doesn’t like to show off…how sweet right…

Ok Ok….well ladies and gentlemen….my new love is none other than……DR. HOUSE…Doctor who? Hah…well shows that u haven’t been watching AXN haven’t u…Dr. House is this incredibly weird but also the best doctor at this hospital. He has 3 sidekicks(2 guys and a gal) whom he just LURVES to torture…i mean mentally….he’s ever trying to demoralize them and degrade them….so kinda figured that they don’t like him that much…but lately the lady doctor been harboring feelings for this ever unpredictable doctor…..will it work out? I dunno guess just need to watch it every Tuesday at 10pm to find out isn’t it….and have i mentioned that Dr. House(played by actor Hugh Laurie)also has a very hot superior who tends to dress to kill and Dr. House never fails to comment bout it…So the core of the show is every episode there would usually involve giving the right diagnosis to a certain patient…and obviously it would not be some simple and cheap ass diagnosis…but a rather complicated one…where the doctors have to explore every possibilities that lead to the symptoms found on the patient…well yeah i too need to confess that half of the terms they use i have no clue what it actually means but it’s always fun watching this kind of show…i used to really love watching ER long time ago…but i think it’s not the medical part that really interest me but the characters…ESPECIALLY my beloved Dr. House….so for u guys out there who haven’t watched it before….u are missing out on something great man…..

Some other interesting things that happened today (Hari ini dalam Sejarah..haha). Well the 3 Kings from Kajang came to visit my new place…who? The Dass brothers that is….oh ya and also the White Shepherd, Ryan(just joking). They came had some drinks and used my toilet and that’s about it…Then we went to visit the Museum…Yes we went to the Museum Negara….with Anand(cousin of the Dass brothers) and his family..very nice family i must say…Actually i can’t even remember when was the last time i step foot into the Museum….i mean not that it has changed much…and the artifacts are still the same…yeah can’t quite change anything relating to history can’t we….but would wish that our Museum is more informative…I mean the overall trip there didn’t quite gave me any great insight of our Malaysian history….It was more like a walk in an Antic store than a journey of discovery of history…..they could at least feature something that would actually display/tells the story of how Malaysia came about….just felt that the entire place and it’s displays are just so disorganized…there’s no flow as to represent a time line of the development of history…..so i came out feeling ‘empty’….